Greatest Love Story

My mind is blocked. I have tried to write so many times and yet when the pen is in hand and the paper is under it the pen wont seem to move or better yet it cant move. I know I have plenty of things to write about, like love, hurt, disappointments, and just plain life. And yet my mind is blocked. I know I can never get tired of reading a good love story, or a poem about love, but I just cant seem to get the words out to write about them. I haven't written a good "I really don't like you right now" type poem in a long time. I guess you can say it is a good thing. I have been trying to get my stuff together but it is hard. Mainly because if I try to and get it together I will have to finally admit it is in the shitter.. For the past 3 years or so I have written at least 50 poems and started 3 or 4 books. I just cant seem to finish them. I want to write the greatest love story ever told. And yet every time I want to write the "When Harry met Sally" but on a better, or the Notebook but on a different scale. I want to write about when boy meets girl, boy falls for girl, girl falls for boy and they love each other until the end.. They have their forever. I want the Jack and Jill where the guy is always by my side and I forever by his type of story. As I have said I want to greatest love story ever told. I want my love to be my best friend a person that I know I can count on throughout any and everything. In order for me to write a story like that, I have to believe in a story like that that. I would love to completely believe that there are no heart aches , lies, or disappointments. I don't know if there has to be those but in order for life to go on there has to be right. I mean before you know you have that kind of love aren't there supposed to test to prove that it is what it is. Or as some people say signs of the heart. I mean isn't that what love is supposed to be about sacrifices, along with trials and tribulations. I will write the greatest story ever written and when I do, will you read it too..

New Year

I know I am kind of late when it comes to writing about the new year.. But a lot has happened for me with me since the year started. I brought in the New Year with some great friends, but the next day I was rush to the hospital with pains in my stomach. It was then that I was told that I needed to have a Myomectomy.. What that is in plain english surgery. They would open up my stomach and take out a large fibroid. Now some people don't know this but I have had fibroids in my stomach just hanging out with my uterus for a year, well I found out a year ago. I have been to 4 doctors since learning of me having them. The first two after my doctor found them told me that I needed to have a hysterectomy, I was devastated being as though I was only 30 years old with no children at all. Then I said I will get a 3rd opinion, well doctors 3 and 4 told me I will need to get a partial hysterectomy. I wasn't as devastated because to me that was progress. To some it may not seem like it but that meant that I will still be able to have children just wont be able to carry it. But once I was rushed to the hospital twice in a week I was told all I needed was a Myomectomy. All they would do is go in and just take out the fibroid they would touch anything else in my body. It was like a weight lifted off of me. Now came the big part of it all. I was so nervous and so scared, it was my first major surgery and I didn't know what to expect. I have seen so many tv shows where things went wrong in the hospital but this was something I had to do. So I was told that it wasn't just one fibroid but two the size of grapefruits, one was on my uterus the other was on my stomach. I have always known I had great family and friends, but it really helped that I had some people here for me besides my Mom, being as though the rest of my family is in Philly. So I had the surgery and have been losing my mind but all in all I am a lot better. So I started out this year with surgery, a lost of 15 lbs and a new view on my life.. I just want to get out of bed so I can enjoy it..