Happy Mothers Day

As Mothers day is upon us it makes me think back to my childhood. I think of the way my mother raised my brother and I with the help of my grandmother and grandfather. I think of my friends who has lost their mothers and I would volunteer my mother in a heartbeat. I don't know what it is like to loose the one person that no matter what happens in my life I can call her when I want to tell her a story, a joke, or just to hear her voice. My mother is a really cool chick.. She raised us and taught us how to be adults who will be parents and how to deal with certain things in life even when we didn't realize it then, trust me we know it now. My mom let us be kids and she scarificed so we didn't want or need for anything. She my have missed out on sports events but I was ok because we understood. My mother would joke with us and be silly with us.. Lawd my mom tried to teach me how to whop.. Yeah she as wrong. Hahahaha.. Just thinking back to that day makes me smile, hell even laugh out loud. I moved away but in my heart I really didn't. I still talk to and laugh with her everyday sometimes quite a few times a day, ok most times its a lot.. My mother is one friend that I can tell my most embarassing moments to and we will laugh. Or I will call her and say let me tell you the stupid things I did.. She knows when something is bothering me, and when I'm not feeling like myself I know I can call her and she will snap me out of what ever funk I'm in.  She is my mother everyday but I will loan her to you just so you can experience her awsomeness, greatness and love that she has for us and everyone she comes across, well mostly everyone.. haha.. She taught me what it means to be a mother. And if I can only be a fraction of what she is when I have children I will be a great one. So tomorrow if your feeling sad just think back on the silly times and smile.

Happy Mothers Day Shortie...

Baking

I have been baking up a storm lately.. I guess that's a great thing since I decided to open up a cupcake compay.. But cupcakes aren't all I will have available. I will be shipping orders as well.. Lately I have been baking bread and pretzels.. Tonight I made sme bread sticks to go along with cheddar broccoli soup and both are delicious. These past week I have made carrot cake cookies, chocolate chip cookies, vegan lemon cupcakes, oreo cupcakes and so much more. I will be excited to introduce my company to the world soon enough.

When I was younger I walked to school in....

When I was younger I had to walk to school in a blizzard. No we really did.. LOL.. And a loaf of bread was a dollar and gas was like 65 cents a gallon. Growing up we have dreams and wishes. We have games that we play, and some we win and some we loose.. And some we loose really badly. We are taught lessons, some we learn and some we are still learning.. But when I think back to when I was growing up I would have never thought I would be right here.. Thinking back to the game MASH.. I married the man of my dreams, have a great home in the place I have always picked (Just somewhere warm), and what Cam has always picked a bus pass.. LOL.. But I couldn't be more ecstatic.. I cant see me being much more happy than this moment. As I look back on my life I was taught so many things, and yet I am still trying to learn them all.. I look back to when we used to play hide and seek on 23rd street, or race from one light pole to the other.. Build igloos under the porch when it snowed a lot. Sit on the porch and play vextrex. Watch the rain fall while eating ice cream and cookies. These are my happy memories and I have a hell of a lot more. The world I grew up in is not here any longer.. The music is different, the attitudes of people and parents are different. The people are different. The world truly is different. While growing up my mother would play music on her record player and we would jam.. I didn't start listening to rap until I was way older. But the lessons of love and life were there. Now music is garbage. I understand what my parents must have felt when our generation of music came out because I have a great disdain for this generation of music that is out now. Maybe the world is the same as it has been, when we get older we are quick to say "when I was younger" Man I cant tell you how many of those stories I heard.. But I find myself saying them now. Maybe the world is the same and I am the one that changed. Maybe the lessons that I was taught made my views change. Maybe I was sheltered in a way. But either way I am proud to say I have become one of those "when I was growing up" people.

Thinking

As I sit here in the Sprint store I look back on this past year and how everything worked out.. And I noticed I am smiling and everyone here proberbly thinks I'm crazy. But a little less than nine months ago I got married and became a Clark. I am honored to take this name, because with the name I also got a husband, a step-son, a couple more sisters, and other family members that comes along with him.

But man no one tells you it will be easy.. They tell you to never go to bed mad but that goes out the window when your mad and sleepy.. "They" seem to say a lot. "They" always seem to be lurking on blogs and married people groups... But we never see who these so called "they" people are. You love your spouse with all your heart, but they don't tell you there will be days where you don't like them or anything they say or do. But you will stand in the biggest wind storm right next to them holding their hand.

People don't realize that getting married won't make things better. But what it does is magnify everything times 1000. So if you had problems before you got married they are still there. That smile he/she flashed will get old... The tantrum she used to throw when she doesn't get her way, will no longer be cute.. This isn't easy, and everyday I'm learning more about myself as well as him. You never fully understand or know someone no matter how long you may have been together.

Relationships aren't easy at times but hell a marriage is hard work. What you put into your marriage is what you get... I don't claim to be an expert on marriages or relationships, and I don't claim to be an expert on mine.. What I'm telling you is "THEY" don't really know what works for you, only you know for sure what works for you. So don't listen to they, or your friends.. Listen to you and your spouse.. Y'all are the only ones in your relationship or marriage.

Sunday Thats it just Sunday...

I deactivated my Facebook page on the 29th of February, and I don't feel the need to go on and be on it as much as I was. It takes a lot of time out of your day to read a bunch of nothingness.  The reason behind the whole not being on Fb was mainly to develop and put more time into my business venture. And So far it is going well. I will be back later on in the week to speak more to you about what else is going on in my life... But for now just relax and don't indulge in anything that will make you feel drained in the end..

My Life

Ok so me and the Mr have talked about me giving up twitter and FB at the end of the month.. So I have already deactivated my twitter and FB will be deactivated on the 1st.. He will post my blogs.. But I can be doing so much more with my life than I am doing right now.. I haven't been writing as much as I should.. Ever since social media came into play I haven't interacted with people, real people like I used to.. I will blog more.. My mind will serve a better purpose.. It is easy to get a hold of me but for some reason I have dumbed down my way of living.. I have made myself believe that social media is keeping me in contact with my family and friends.. But it really isn't.. We don't call each other like we used to.. It does serve it purpose when it comes to seeing pictures of different events that I was unable to attend.. I want more for me than just sitting in front of my laptop screen reading about other peoples lives.. Or lack there of..

I will do much more with my time.. I will spend it with my dogs, writing, being a better wife, exercising ( ok I will try), and coming up with other ideas to combat my boredom.. See you, talk to you, skype with you, IM with you later..

Until next time.. 

Whats was on my mind at 7am..

I have always felt some sort of way about getting in front of a crowded room and saying my poetry.. Even though Steve talked me into doing open mic nights plenty of times and I did it.. I loved it.. But I could never be fluid enough to me.. I can study my words constantly but it would never come out the way it is supposed to. I would get nervous and sweaty and at the last minute I don't want to do it. But then I think well they called my name and I would look like a major punk if I dont. So I would do it and the poem would be great but the delivery would be the worst. I know it was or maybe I am just too hard on myself. Don't get it twisted I was born with a pen in my hand and I went to sleep with paper as my pillow. I have always like writing since I first heard Nikki Giovanni in third grade. When I grew up I wanted to be a famous writer. Hell my grand daddy even told me I was good :) . But for some reason I am so jealous of those that can stand up and speak their words with such precision and it just rolls of their tongues.  I have a few friends that I can watch them over and over again. Every time I hear my husband do his thing I fall in love with him that much more. He really does inspire me to do better. To write more. You see when I write it isn't always about love. I write about everything, love, I don't really like you, I remembers, at this moments. I write what I feel. I dream of writing. But by the time I wake up the words are gone. Maybe I can invent a machine that would transcribe my dreams that way the words will never leave me.

I have always felt some sort of way about getting in front of a crowd and saying whats on my mind. But you just made it that much better. And one day I will be able to tell you all this in person.

VAlentines Day

When we were little every year my mom would get me and my brother something small and a box of those hard stale candy hearts, and a 99 cent card.. Oh and we would have cupcakes.. I loved it.. As you grow older certain holidays seem a little different.. As you have kids you remember how your parents were able to make anything seem huge... That box of hearts and my 2 dollar toy was everything to me then.. And thinking back on it it is still everything to me.. I remember one year my mom decided to get me a carebear cousin Losta Heart Elephant and got my brother one as well.. But she got him one that seemed more boyish like the brave heart lion.. It wasn't until recently that I was reminded of it.. Yes I still have all of my stuff animals.. But the thing is parents are your first valentines, then you dump them for some boy or girl in elementary school.. But your mom will never stop giving you love and to me thats what Valentines is all about.. The love.. But at this stage in my life I don't see it as a holiday.. Not for me anyway.. As I got older and worked in retail I saw how commercial it has become.. Everything goes on sale.. Perfume, you get mailers in the mail from jewelry stores, females look to get engaged on this day.. And get mad if he got her something else.. Maybe it was always that way, but I never saw it as a kid because to me it just meant a 99 cent card, a stale box of heart, and a small toy.. And love from my mom..

Maybe when I have children I to will give them lil things on this day.. We will see.. :)

Ok so today I have decided to start a cup cake business.. I know how you going to sell cupcakes when all you do is eat them... I am a great baker, and I will just have to learn that everything I bake I don't always have to eat. Yeah right we will see how that comes about.. Well today is my first day of the rest of my life.. And So far so good.. Lets see what tomorrow will bring..